I reached my hand into the bag, eyes closed, routing around, praying silently. Show me what I need to see. The small ivory stones tumbled around my fingers until I felt it. This is the one. I grasped a single rune from the sordid bunch and gingerly removed it, placing it flat in my hand. The rune depicted a solid vertical line etched in black ink. This being my first time exploring the ancient art of runes I had absolutely no idea what this meant, but with great anticipation, picked up the Book of Runes to find my answer. I flipped through the pages until I saw the symbol. My heart dropped all the way down into my stomach, causing my gut to churn. The first word of the page, in big bold letters, was Standstill.
To explain my dismay, I had just returned from holiday travel, visiting family and old friends. Without fail, though with some variation in verbiage, everyone asked the same question. “So, what are you doing with your life?” My inner judge would always retort, Nothing, with a disappointed look on her face. And I would pop up to my wounded pride’s defense saying, So what if I don’t have a job? So what if I’m broke? So what if I live in a cabin all alone in the woods? That’s what writers do! And I would shyly relay to everyone that, “I’m sort of in transition right now.”
The truth is that I lost a great deal this year. I worked harder than any year to date and have the least amount to show for it – or so I perceived. I’ve been forced to let go of all the things that are no longer serving me. As it turns out, that was nearly everything. It seems I have had this invisible character holding me upside down by my ankles, shaking me down until the last penny drops.
Thankfully, my rune did show me exactly what I needed to see. The title of my rune was Isa, meaning Ice. The Book of Runes advised me that my Standstill was not the result of my own doing but the simple process of nature. It is the necessary pause that comes before a new beginning. Life requires us to pause, to go within, to release the old and prepare for what is yet to come. Just as nature has its seasons we have our cycles. I see it a bit like this:
Summer – Life – We are blooming and fulfilled.
Fall – Death – We shed aspects of ourselves.
Winter – Pause – We retreat to examine our lives and look to the coming of the light.
Spring – Rebirth – The seeds of new intentions take root and begin to grow.
We are constantly moving inward and outward, pulsating with life, having mini deaths and rebirths, travelling through our seasons. Sometimes we notice. Sometimes we don’t. In my case, it has been painfully impossible to ignore. Yet all my former angst has been transformed by a miraculous half-inch bit of stone. I can see my life with renewed eyes. I was frozen only by my own perception and am graciously returning to my free-flowing state.
I can only move forward if I allow myself to be where I am. There is no need for blaming, name calling, shaming, or running away. I’m giving my inner judge a vacation. I believe that this is a moment to embrace with open arms. I believe that with courage and wisdom this Standstill will provide me with everything I need to move forward – to go confidently in the direction of my dreams – and I’m excited! So, I say to life, “I stand here, wide open, ready to receive the best you’ve got.”
~ ~ ~
Should you ever arrive at what appears to be a standstill, do not fret. Just like any other place, the Standstill is the perfect place to be. Love where you are for it is precisely where you are meant to be…
