The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Part of being single is constantly having people around me who either want to set me up or tell me why men are stupid for not dating me. Sure, there are men out there that are lazy, burnt out, and tired, but there are also incredible, hard-working, dependable men out there.
There are men who love their wives with all their hearts. Men who, after a long day at work, tuck their kids into bed, read them a story, and then kiss them on the forehead before they go to sleep. There are men who rub their wives feet, make dinner, and even do the laundry. There are men who mow lawns, paint walls, hold hands with their significant other, sit through chick flicks, and have endless supplies of chocolate. There are men who actually date. There are men who listen, who are honest, loyal, and brilliant. I LOVE these men!
A while back I worked at a Domestic Violence Shelter as a therapist for victims of DV and their children. I listend in horror as these women told their stories of violence. I saw the bruises on their bodies, I heard the anguish in their voices, and spent time with their traumatized children. At the same time—to gain a balanced perspective—I was also working with the offenders of domestic violence crimes. I sat in groups with men who had committed heinous crimes and listened as they described the unspeakable violence they had committed by their own hands. I tried to be professional, but there were moments when I wanted to throw-up because of the things some of these men had done. They were at various stages of change and I prayed before, during, and after every group that I would be able to see these men as children of God. Every time the group was over I called my father, who I love with all my heart, to tell him I love him and to thank him for being such a wonderful man. Then I would call my best friend to tell him how much I appreciate his goodness. I knew that if I let myself, I would end up hating men after going to those horrible groups—instead I chose to love the valiant men in my life.
And so, while I do get frustrated waiting for a man in my life, and while I sometimes laugh or nod in agreement when people place the blame squarely on men for my singleness, I am so grateful to be surrounded by men of valor! I know there are men who are selfless, who work hard to support those they love, and who are trying to choose the right in the face of evil. I know there are men who abhor pornography, say no to drugs, serve others, and pursue their dreams. I know there are men who love their mothers, respect their fathers, and treat their sisters like queens. I know this because I have been privy to such awesome and incredible men in my life!
And so to all you men out there— be men of courage, valor, strength, nobility, peace, humility, and love. Be the men that so many of us are searching for. Remember who you are and your great purpose in this life. In whatever situation life has you in be a man that you can be proud of. And to all you women please take time today to appreciate the men of valor in your life!