Now that we have explored what it actually looks like to live our dreams we must answer the next set of questions that come to mind: What is it that actually stops us from living our dreams? Why don’t we pursue them more fully in our own lives? Why do we continue to put secondary things above those things which matter most to us? Why do we allow our fears and inadequacies to distract us from doing what we know we should?
As we explore the reality of these things in our lives we will also pave the way for the next article in this series which will answer the question: How do we overcome these things, and move forward in the pursuit of our dreams?
The Real Reason behind ALL Other Reasons: FEAR
While there are many reasons, circumstances, and justifications, for not pursuing our dreams the real reason we don’t pursue them is fear. At its most basic level every excuse we can ever give is based in fear. All our excuses represent a fear of the unknown. Whether it is not having enough time, education, and money, a fear of rejection, a desire to guard those thoughts that are most precious to us only to ourselves, feelings of inadequacy, we must remember that these things all grow forth from a fear of the unknown.
It is not what we are actually afraid of that immobilizes us… it is our fear itself – our fear of the unknown. The excuses of our lives, in and of themselves, do not immobilize us and leave us paralyzed in inaction. It is the fear of the unknown which immobilizes us. We think: How will our fellow-men respond to our actions? To our dream? How will our life look, or how will we feel, if we move forward in pursuit of our dream and fail? What if we can’t do it? How would that make us feel? What if I have to change who I am to accomplish it? I don’t know what life would look like that far out of my comfort zone and it scares me… should I do it anyway? Can I do it? I’m not good enough to live my dream yet? I don’t even know how to move forward… what should I do?
All of these thoughts are valid but we must remember that they all stem from our fear of the unknown. It is in realizing that these thoughts stems from our fear of the unknown that we can discover the strength to move forward. These things are but surface reasons leading us ever deeper to the real reason at its heart; our fear of the unknown.
We must ask ourselves the following question as we consider what course of action we would take: Would we really do more of those things we say matter most to us if we had more options presented to us? Considering that we don’t do them don’t do those things now – when it actually matters most?
If something really matters to us then shouldn’t it be a part of our lives whether or not we are successful at it yet? If we want something to be a part of our lives when we are successful then doesn’t it need to be a part of our lives when we are struggling as well? If we can’t implement the lifestyle of our dreams into our lives now, when it matters most, why would we do it later when both distractions and responsibilities will likely be greater than they are today? If we have not the strength to do so now why should we expect to have the strength to do so then?
It is the fear itself that immobilizes us and keeps us locked in stasis. As long as we can’t see what it is that is actually immobilizing us we will remain trapped by it. In seeing this thing, this fear of the unknown, we come to realize that we can alter the path we walk, we can change our fate, and we can determine (to some extent) the outcomes of our destiny.
Look at all of the excuses you use, both with yourself and others, and see them for what they are; offshoots of a deep-seated fear of the unknown. We all have this fear within us. Recognizing and acknowledging it is the first step in moving past it. Until, and unless, we can see it we cannot move past it. It is in recognizing, and embracing, our fears that we begin to move past them. In denying them all we do is run from them while they in turn run our lives in the circles we have been running for far too long already. See the excuses of your life and recognize in them the truth; that the excuses of your life all stem from an innate fear of the unknown.
For the next two weeks I invite you to contemplate these things and identify the excuses of your life. Why don’t you pursue your dream? Why don’t you go after the things you most want? Why don’t you do daily activities, or take the actions, that lead you ever nearer – even if only imperceptibly – towards living the life of your dreams? Is it fear or is it something else? Do you really believe in the validity of your excuses or can you humbly see them for what they are – a fear of the unknown itself?
In two weeks we will explore, delve, and sound the depths of the question that matters most after seeing these things: How do we overcome these things, and move forward in the pursuit of our dreams?
Overcoming Fear Series:
- What does it mean to live our dreams?– July 24th
- What stops us from living our dreams? – Aug 7th
- Overcoming Fear Itself – Aug 21st
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