A Good Cry

I used to think crying was a bad thing.

When I was young I’d get sent to my room for crying too much. My parents didn’t know that I had a reason for crying and that I just didn’t know how to tell them about it. They probably thought I was being a spoiled brat. Additionally, my brothers would tease me until I cried, and then they’d tease me some more for finally crying.

I think my idea that crying was something bad started from those two things.

I used to suppress all of my urges to cry, bottling them up for as long as I could. I thought I needed to be tough and strong, and that meant no crying. I thought that crying was annoying, and to stop being annoying I had to never cry.

Boy, was I mistaken! I have found that crying is not only necessary at times, but it can be cleansing, refreshing, and wonderful for your well-being.

The other night I was feeling depressed, as I seemed to only be able to focus on all of the negativity in my life. I sat on the floor, tears streaming down my face, my nose both running and simultaneously stuffed, feeling absolutely miserable as I my sorrow exploded through sob after sob. My patient and loving husband held my hands as I threw myself a pity party and released all of the frustration and sadness I had been stifling for over a month.

Why had I tried to contain it all instead of letting it out a little at a time? Old habits. Plus, I tend to see others always putting on a happy face and never complaining about the difficulties in their lives, and I feel like I should do the same. But I have come to realize that I am not them, and I need to do the right things to take care of me. If that means telling my sad or upset feelings to a close friend and asking for some comfort, so be it. If that means writing my feelings into a blog post to get them out of my head while making sure they’re not forgotten, so be it. If that means taking the time to cry and express some melancholy emotions, so be it!

There is nothing wrong with crying, and there is nothing wrong with feeling sad. What there is something wrong with is ignoring or suppressing our feelings out of guilt or shame. Yes, there are moments when it may be more appropriate to keep those feelings inside, but make sure you give yourself a safe* time and place to release the negative so that you can feel the positive again afterward. Taking care of yourself and giving yourself the chance to deal with difficult moments and feelings is strength. If that means crying, there is no shame or weakness in it.

Sometimes, a good cry is what you need in order to pick yourself up and continue walking forward. Sometimes it may not be what you need. But I hope that when it is, you welcome it, you embrace it. After you’re finished, I hope that you can hold your head high with the confidence that crying didn’t cause a backward slide in your Forward Walking, but that it let you pause to gather yourself together so that you can continue on.

*Please note that if you have an emotional, mental, or other disorder and struggle with depression or sadness, you may need to seek professional counseling to help yourself safely and properly deal with such feelings.