I know there are many of you, like me, out there who have suffered the loss of someone you love dearly. Lately, this topic of grief, love, loss, and healing has been weighing on my heart and so I thought I would share something with you about how I remember those I love.
l think it started about a year after my brother died. I was shopping at a grocery store and the cashier asked me if I wanted to donate $1 to the Children’s Miracle Network. Before I could tell her no, I never use to donate to these causes, she said, “You can write your name or someone’s else’s name on the balloon.” That was the beginning of a new tradition for me.
I grabbed the yellow and orange stripped hot air balloon and wrote down the name Grant Marcus. It was amazing the feeling I had, knowing my brother’s name would be on the wall at that grocery store for all to see. It didn’t matter much to anyone else, but it meant the world to me.
And so began my little way of remembering.
Through the years, as friends and family have lost children, spouses, fathers and mothers, etc. there have been so many times that I have felt useless. I know pain is individual and healing hurts. So I have quietly said prayers to the Creator on their behalf and written the names of their loved ones on whatever balloon, four-leaf clover, fundraiser thingy that the nearest grocery store had available. Somehow, I believe, writing their names to be hung on display matters.
Here are just a few of the many names that come to my mind and heart at this time. Each of them has a story, a family who loves them dearly, and a message of heartache and healing. Each of their names has been written down & displayed to be remembered: Grant Marcus Shields (my brother), Holland Kay Cottle, Lucia Isabella Jackson, Grace & Sarah Clare, Paxton Edward Norton, Lisa Kay Wright Shields (my aunt), Ivory Dame, Owen Cherrington (my uncle), Rob Verhaaren, Adam Karl Hansen, Ember Lee Belcher…
I wonder, how do you remember?
What I love here is that you find a way to show your love in spite of feeling helpless and grief-stricken. Remembering is something that helps all of us, isn’t it? I just returned from a visit to a town and place I love where two people I loved dearly have died. I thought it would feel so foreign and difficult to be there but in fact a dear friend was with me and she walked with me to a beautiful quarry in the woods where the ashes of those I love were scattered. I dove in and swam across it, weeping as as I swam and feeling them close. When I got out, I felt restored to them and to myself. And so grateful for having the kinds of friends I have.
And so began my little way of remembering = a pretty big step in my book! Remembering with the level of love you have is surely important?! This vital step in the healing of memories is one we are so often too frightened to take. And weeping – yes, that best way of release.
I find that if you can remember the amazing people who have passed on before in such wonderful ways, it truly does them justice. Mourning without end does their legacy no good and can often turn into selfish suffering. Grief is absolutely important to feel and deal with, but there comes a time when those who have died would probably like us to move on and do something great with our own lives. I love this way that you remember your loved ones, by using their names to support the lives of others. I hope we all can find such honorable and respectable ways to remember our loved ones, by doing some kind of good in the world. Thanks for sharing!
A beautiful tradition. A good way to keep the love and spirit of our loved ones who have passed with us.